Children Grow Like Trees When Nurtured
Being a nurturing mother has been one of my biggest goals in life. For a child to become a successful adult, it takes a lot of discipline but even more nurturing and love. Children are like a tree. The more they are nurtured, the stronger they grow. This Moon in the Peridot Tree of Life Pendant is so dear to me, because it stands for and represents some of the huge milestones of my own life, full of trials and tribulations and challenges.
I am a mother of three adopted children. We adopted my two oldest children at birth but our youngest, we were her foster parents for two years prior to us adopting her. When foster children, her included, come to us they are typically very broken emotionally and confused.
My daughter is no exception! When she first came to us, she was an absolute handful. She was 19 months old and had been shown no love, had not been nurtured by her mother, had been expected to be very independent to survive and had not had any boundaries or rules set. Even at 19-months-old, she could get completely dressed all on her own (including socks and shoes). For a few months, the tantrums were literally almost non-stop until she would fall asleep from exhaustion. She was the most unhappy child I had ever dealt with before.
It took a TON of love and patience but guess what?! Once she began to have a consistent nurturer in her life, she has grown into a beautiful, HAPPY, pleasant little girl!
I love this necklace from Lexi Butler Designs. It is a reminder to me of my little girl’s life. A little girl who has hope, has a contagious smile and has grown big and strong. I wish you ALL could have seen the transformation we have been blessed to witness! She has helped me understand how much LOVE can do!
Here are a few ways that we have found to have been helpful to truly nurture her the way she so desperately needed!
Be Consistent With Rules and Boundaries
Consistency is key! Having a set of rules and boundaries gives children an incredible sense of security. Even if they fight the rules, deep down in, they need them to know they are loved.
Let Them Act Their Age
Children are exactly that… children. They should not have to act like an adult. Make sure you are not disciplining for them acting their age. Focus on correcting the bad behaviors that will matter long term… not all the small stuff.
Respect Their Feelings
Give your child the chance to express their own feelings in an appropriate manner or else you will get inappropriate reactions from bottled up emotions. Let them know they will not be in trouble for being open and honest with you on how they are feeling.
Oh, this one is SO hard for me. Allow your child to do stuff on their own. Independence can give your child a lot of self-confidence but it sure isn’t fun waiting an extra 10 minutes for your child to tie their own shoes or buckle their own car seat. By being patient, you are allowing your child to know they are worth your time!
Do Not Expect Perfection
NO child is perfect. NO adult is perfect! So do NOT expect for them to be or you will constantly be disappointed.
Give Your Child Steady Affection
Even when my daughter thought she didn’t want to be held and rocked, she desperately needed it. Eventually, she stopped fighting the “love” and craved it! Making sure she gets a lot of hugs and kisses each day is very important!
This Tree of Life pendant is a reminder to me that love always “gets through” like these strong roots are getting all the nourishment to the branches and the leaves. And with daily food like that, the tree keeps giving. I absolutely adore this pendant and the symbolism it carries within this unique design of the peridot stones.
Spend Quality Time
Maybe the most important, do NOT let the TV raise your child. SPEND TIME with them. Play games, sit and talk, play outside, sit on their floor and play with their toys together, read to them, etc.
To me, this Lexi Butler Designs necklace is a great daily reminder to strive to be the mother I want to be and my children so desperately NEED!