When the vision is blocked to see life nocking in your door, then it’s really time to stand up and hear yourself ROAR! THIS IS THE TIME to assert that you have the power, desire and the strength to overcome.

When a woman is faced with a breast cancer diagnosis, the darkness, the gloom of the days that follow can constrict not only actions, but breathing, feeling, thinking clearly. It is vital to reach out and lift that person from the quagmire of complex feelings about health and life’s issues and offer a path for a solution to get out of this black hole.

Katelyn Carey is one of the women I admire and shower with ‘thanks.’ With breast cancer and mastectomy, she has created a space, a powerful mental focus to live the life she needs and wants. Truly, a magical story that is real.

Breast Cancer October Relay

Illuminate. Encourage. Shine!
Campaña de Concientización Contra el Cáncer de Mama.
Alienta. Incentiva. Brilla!

I have often said that we can best light the darkness that we know. There’s a lot of darkness present within a breast cancer diagnosis. Normal doesn’t really exist for a while after hearing that diagnosis. But I do believe there’s such a thing as a new normal. And every breast cancer patient I’ve spoken to has discovered the same thing.

More importantly, yet way stranger, was the realization that though none of us ever wished for this, all of us came out of it being better people than we were before that diagnosis happened. 

Use Your Experiences To Help Others

I know a lot of people struggle to give meaning to “why this happened to me”. I’ve personally discovered that we can create that meaning by using our experiences to help others. If there’s not something you’re passionate about now, there will be after this experience! Take your passion and give meaning to your life and your diagnosis with it. 

And do know and research the best gifts and products to support women going through breast cancer treatment. Ask their families and even the patient what they need most to make their painful experience more comfortable to go through.

Use Emotions To Create A Powerful Solution(s)

I chose to take my frustration with the faceless “mastectomy mugshots”, my confusion at the mixed answers, my fear of being single and scarred, and use my emotions to create a solution. I decided to create something that would be the resource I wished for during my darkest moments. That resource started as a trifold brochure. When I finally finished the photos, anecdotes, and tips within it, I called up the American Cancer Society and offered this brochure for their use. What did they say? They said “no”. They said, “it’s just one person’s story, and that’s not helpful.”

Take A ‘No’ To Elevate Yourself To See Ahead Of You

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been the kind of person who can hear the word ‘no’ without needing almost instantly to prove that was the wrong word to give me. One person’s story wasn’t enough? Fine. I’d find more people, more stories to share. So I formed a company, and I found a photographer, and I found organization who put me in touch with other breast cancer patients.

I started cold calling people, and discovered that a personal story, and a personal touch, is still meaningful to people…even people operating high end venues in L.A. And so I learned about finding venues, doing interviews, and fundraising. The learning curve was steep…Mount Everest steep. And all I can tell you is that I chanted my mantra about a million times…this is worth doing. This needs to exist, so dangit I’m going to make sure it does. And then I cried. And then I ate some cookie dough. And on one occasion I found out that a small cup of whiskey goes really well with chocolate chip cookie dough. 

We are not loved for our faces, we are loved for our hearts.

I’m immensely glad I didn’t know what I was getting into when I started. If I’d known the true scope of what starting the Beauty After Breast Cancer project would mean, I’m not sure I could have done it. But once I got started, every person’s story, every experience that resonated with the same sense of loss and confusion that I felt, fueled me to keep going.

And the first breast cancer patient who held the concept (for what eventually became a 178-page book with over 100 photos of bare-chested life beyond cancer) in her hands, told me something that made stopping impossible. She told me that the nightmare experience of depression and loss she went through after her diagnosis would never have happened if she’d had this book when she was diagnosed. And I knew I must go on…

Fortunately, my family knew this too. I had their patience and support all along. It was my husband who first took pictures of me, pictures that allowed me to see my own beauty through his eyes and thus begin my recovery of myself. He had healed me in so many ways. He was now very understanding of my need to heal and empower others. 

Sometimes it is advancing age that finally demonstrates to us all the time that we wasted worrying about our imperfect bodies, our inadequate words, or our shaky self images when we were younger. Sometimes what opens our eyes to our own true beauty is looking death in the face when given a life-threatening diagnosis of cancer.

A 178-page book with over 100 photos of bare-chested life beyond cancer.

Whatever it is that finally makes this message clear to us, there comes a time in life when (if we’re paying attention) we realize we are not loved for our faces, we are loved for our hearts. We are not lessened by our scars, we are made more complex and stronger by them. We are not admired for our flat bellies, we are adored for the gifts of time and attention that we give to others. The sooner we realize these things, the sooner we can appreciate ourselves and the joy that life offers us. Take this second chance at life, however long it is, and make the best of it. Make your mark on the world. 

Breast Cancer October Relay

Illuminate. Encourage. Shine!
Campaña de Concientización Contra el Cáncer de Mama.
Alienta. Incentiva. Brilla!

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