I realized that one of the most difficult task we’ll ever be dealt with is forgiveness- forgiving those that have hurt us. While many people glamorize the concept of forgiveness, it’s quite a challenge in carrying it out.
It’s so much easier to stay angry and resentful, to stay hating the other person. I mean, come on, we deserve some kind of justification, right? Someone needs to be punished?
False, false, and false.
Staying angry (although it may seem like it’s easier to stay that way), destroys the lightness and joy in our lives. We start to become bitter, cold, cynical, and closed off.
What we really need from all this is freedom and healing from the wound that another has caused us. This doesn’t mean causing them harm (or anyone of that matter) in return.
If our goal moving forward is to create healing, peace and happiness, we must strive to do the work behind the act of forgiveness and truly understand what it really entails.
Most people think that forgiveness is for the other person, when in reality, forgiveness is for ourselves. Forgive and let go, because YOU love yourself enough to let go of something that no longer honors you. Because YOU love yourself enough to allow yourself freedom from all that pain and hurt.
However, understanding all this still doesn’t quite help in releasing all the emotional baggage, which ultimately keeps us from actually completing the act of forgiveness. We might logically understand why someone has hurt us, but still not be able to release the emotions of hate, anger or resentment.
Although Time is always a good start in helping heal wounds, there are also things we can do to take control in our own hands and speed up the process of forgiveness.
Zoom Out And Locate Where Your Pain Is Coming From
Stop, take a deep breath, and step back from the situation. Zoom out and take a look at the situation as a whole. Identify where your hurt lies and what deep emotional chords this situation may have rung.
Learn And Understand
Ask yourself why it hurt you and do your best to learn the emotional block it is associated with. Learn why it’s so difficult for you to let go of this.Then, take a look at the other person and step into their shoes. Do your best to look at the situation from their perspective without bias or judgment. What fears or insecurities of theirs might be they be projecting?
After doing your best to learn the other person, have compassion for who they are as another human being here on Earth. They are also trying to feel loved and be loved like you are. A lot of people will project their own fears and insecurities towards others due to feeling unloved and this may be the root of their negative actions toward you.
Surrender, Forgive And Let Go
Be brave and make the conscious decision to forgive and to let go. Know that when you do this, you are not only setting the other person free, you are setting yourself free. Forgiveness is for you, not for anyone else because it sets you free from hurt that no longer serves or honors you. When you forgive and let go, you are loving yourself enough to give yourself peace.
Send the Other Person Peace And Love
Do the work to heal and grow from the experience. Remind yourself that we are all human and that sometimes we make mistakes. If the other person is unwilling to grow from it, that’s not your responsibility, it’s not your karma. Send the other person peace and love, and then let go, move on.
The act of forgiveness is definitely one of the most challenging tasks we are dealt. However, if we make the conscious effort to choose to be free from all the hurt and negative emotions that unforgiveness comes with, it becomes a little easier to do the work of forgiveness.
Forgive, Let Go & RETWEET
— Celebrate Woman (@DiscoverSelf) April 28, 2017