Unintended Consequences: a Psychological Romance

This new novel by Author Carmen McGuinness is a fictional account of London McQuin, a recently divorced psychologist who has an affair with a married man. 

Here’s a scene from the book, early in the relationship.

Inside, Cary took London in his arms. “I want you very much,” he said.

Rising to her tip toes, she kissed him, strong and free, wild, and longing, she kissed him for a very, very long time. On the couch, he pressed hard into her rising hips.

She could feel his manliness pressing against his trousers and into her cut-offs. She wanted him so, was so very, very wet. He looked down into her eyes. Certain he could see her soul, see that she was so very vulnerable, and sweet, still sweet, she smiled and said, “So, you didn’t go, you didn’t leave.”

He was unbuttoning her blouse, pulling it apart. He looked down at the modest yellow bra she had selected – just in case. “I’m not going anywhere, London,” he said, and kissed her again, and again, and her breasts, where bare skin met her bra. “I’m right here,” he said, as he pressed into her again.

As their affair progresses, London, a very sensitive empath and vivid dreamer, falls deeply in love with Cary, and their romance spikes psychological problems she’s battled her entire life. As the story unfolds, the reader begins to wonder if London has multiple personality disorder. Here’s a scene in which London eavesdrops on her personalities.

That night she dreamt she was flying. The ladies were down below, walking among the oaks. Tig was with them. She sank down to them, and dreamt some more. The elegant Cruise Girl pointed to a star above. Though she didn’t seem to see London, London saw her. The others looked up where she’d pointed, but London was afraid to. Tig took her hand, “Mother says it can be hard to see what you already know,” she said, looking up at London’s astral body.

There are many voices in London’s mind. But it’s possible these are fantasy personalities, sprites, fairy godmothers vying to influence her actions. How she responds to the challenges presented by loving Cary, is flavored by these personalities, and by her childhood imaginary friend, throughout the story. Which personality will win, will persuade London to take action? Well, here’s a final letter to Cary, showing that in a fated love, no one wins.

Dear Cary,

Do you remember when I fell in love with you? It was the weekend after Thanksgiving 2015. I was in Ft. Lauderdale, visiting my son. He took me to see Hall & Oats. We were on Kik almost every hour. You stayed connected to me so well. I slept outside with my granddaughter, little Emily. You recall? I was training her in the ways of fairies. The moon was bright. It held me in its glow, and I told you I was falling in love. 

Silly you, warned me not to. But you wanted me to. I could tell. And now you know why. Now you know that I could always tell how you felt, what you felt. I’m still in love with you Cary. Trying so hard not to be didn’t work. It never works to push against something. It’s like trying not to think of a lemon, only to have your mouth pucker up. So, I’m learning to live with this love, hoping it will fade over time. But that’s a lie. 

My true hopes are my secret. Learning to live with them. I imagine you are being brainwashed now. In PA, I’m guessing, at a sex recovery seminary or something equally horrible. But I know that you know the truth. I pray you learn to live with it too, instead of trying to push it away. Your little secret. Love is never bad Cary. You know this to be true. 

You remember when I told you how strong you are? You were in New Mexico. We text all night long. You still are. Stronger than before even. Hold your secret, like I hold my seashell. I told you the last time I saw you, before Christmas, that I couldn’t hold ‘us’ lightly, but I’m learning to. Because, unable to stop, I have no other choice. Know that you’re loved. Yes, of course you are. But know that I love you, that London loves, that you are loved as you were meant to be loved. 

Don’t go to sleep Cary. Don’t freeze or put ‘us’ in a box, along with your beautiful heart. Please, hold us lightly instead.

London