What is the story, the personal story of your life, that you are writing? Does it have a happy ending? Does it end sadly? The middle part, the one you are living now, is it a tragedy, or a comedy, or drama, adventure, or perhaps so hopelessly muddled you’re not sure what it is?
What is the story you want to write? How would it end, if it ended perfectly for you? What dreams would you fulfill that now seem far beyond your grasp?
What role does your weight, your physical self-image play in your dreams? Is your present body an enabler? A restriction? Irrelevant? A spoiler? Have you thought about it that way?
In this story that you are writing today, the one where everything keeps playing out the way it is now… what role does sex play in it? Any? Nothing? Is it hopelessly muddled too?
In the story you would really like to write, does sex have a role? What kind of role? Or is sex something you have left behind, a relic of younger, and lighter days? Is it a driving force that lifts you to motivation for passionate fulfillment?
Cinderella lost a slipper, and discovered a kingdom. Are you a Cinderella, waiting for the grand ball, fearing the dreaded hour, running away from a confident triumph, and endlessly hoping someone will kiss you when you have lost your troublesome pounds?
If your story a love story? A story of heroism? Or a boring story to tell that leaves you barely curious how it all ends?
Who is the author of your life story?
Are you the author of your own story? Can you write the plot, fill-in the important characters, and find a twisting, but sure way, to a triumphal ending?
If you are not the author of your life, who, or what, is?
Every woman I have known who had a lot of weight to lose, has tried to lose it many times over, only to lose some and gain extra along the way. Every woman I have known who weighs a lot more than they should, has at one time or another given up, and accepted themselves, however reluctantly, as being beyond the hope of ever losing it all permanently.
A poet friend of mine told me the power of her much-published poetry was rooted in the sheer helplessness she had to crawl out from under – to discover a beautiful person staring back at her from the morning mirror.
Can you write the story of your life differently?
Are you a worthy writer? A creative writer? A prolific writer? Or a writer who has great difficulty getting that first word on the paper and tortures themselves as they bleed ink every sentence thereafter?
At this point in your life you have the gift of a chance to write a different story, a story with a new ending. A story more to your liking. You can, without asking anyone’s permission, without breaking the bonds you have to others… you can begin writing a new chapter, then another, then an entire book, until you have a new life emerging out of the cocoon of the excess weight that you carry now.
Sometimes, you need to look deep inside yourself, cry a painful cry, to tell yourself the truth – that you really are the master-writer of your weight-destiny. You really can change your life. You really can become the character in your fairy-tale book. You can be the person you have always wanted to be. You can succeed where you have failed in the past.
Write your own book, start a new chapter tonight. And wake in the morning to the role of the new you.
Will you write your story differently, the middle part you are living now, creating a new ending to your life-book?
Can you do that?
Do you want to?
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Curb Your Appetite – Stop Your Cravings
©2010 Laura Gontchar. All Rights Reserved.
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